Shinji Ikari, Detective For Hire
by Sonic Angel
Summary: My first EVA fic. Shinji and his friends are private detectives. But what happens when they take a case by NERV? R&R, and find out! Couplings will be Shinji and Asuka, Touji and Misato, OC and Rei.


Shinji Ikari: Detective for Hire   
By Sonic Angel

**Disclaimer:** Don't own EVA. All I own is Daisuke 'Halo' Ishida 

**"**Tokyo, Japan. The kind of town where many evil lurks in the darkness, the kind of evil that you don't want to meet in a dark alley. My name is Shinji Ikari. I'm a detective. I run a detective agency for hire with my friends Touji Suzuhara, Kensuke Aida, and Daisuke 'Halo' Ishida. This is our story." 

**I**t was a normal, definitely boring, absolutely no-case business day for our detective agency. The sky was blue, a few clouds were hanging around, and we could as well have closed shop and hung out, played video games on the arcade and gone home. But then again, we're not normal young kids. We happen to be detectives. The top detectives in the private sector, and we're all just teens to boot. Normal, in Tokyo, the eastern version of San Francisco, home of anime, Japanimation, Japanese animation, right? Normal, heh, what _is_ your definition of normal when one friend is a loudmouth, the other is a military know-it-all and the final one was once a secret agent for MI-6 and served in the UN without you knowing it and saved your life, then, vanished without a trace? 

**T**ouji yelled, "I WANT MONEY! I WANT A CASE, ALREADY!" 

**K**ensuke sighed, "It's been a few days since we last had a case." 

**I** replied, "Touji, be quiet. As for you Kensuke, you're right. Halo, what is your opinion on this?" 

**O**ur mysterious confidant smiled, "I hear that NERV is having some problems with those Angels punks." 

**T**ouji yelled, "WHAT? DAISUKE, DID YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAD _JUST_ SUGESSTED? ARE YOU SUGESSTING THAT WE TAKE A CASE FROM A TOP-SECRET BIOTECH COMPANY THAT DOES EXPERIMENTS WE DON'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT? DAISUKE, ARE YOU _INSANE_?" 

**T**hen, a voice calmly called out, "We are not _entirely_ top-secret, Touji Suzuhara." 

**T**hree young women walked in to our office. Three of the most beautiful, important looking, (Touji: Did I mention hot?) women we had ever laid our eyes upon. And they were all sporting NERV badges, because the worked for NERV (Daisuke: DUH!). Touji was gaping romantically and naughtily at the black haired woman. Kensuke and me could only widen our eyes in amazement. Daisuke was the only one who talked. He said, "Whoa." 

**T**he black-haired woman was Misato, one of NERV's top biotech executives. 

**T**he red-haired one happened to be Asuka Langely, one of the top scientists working on NERV's latest covert EVA project. 

**T**he blue-haired young lady was none other than her mysterious, secretive, yet beautiful associate, who happens to have lack of feelings, Rei Ayanmi. 

**T**ouji whistled, while looking very naughtily at Misato, (Daisuke: Did I forget to mention Touji has a mountain load of hentai magazines at his room?) "Hello, Nurse." And that's when Daisuke threw a banana cream pie at him. 

**T**ouji cleared his face and pouted, "Very funny, Ishida." 

**M**isato asked, "So I take it that you three are the four famed Ikari detectives for hire?" 

**I** nervously stammered, "Uh… Yes… Yes we are…" 

**D**aisuke took over by smiling, "Yes, we are. We are the four detectives that make up the Ikari Detective Agency, we take on any case as long as it's legitimate and doesn't break any laws." 

**M**isato smiled, "I can assure you gentlemen, that this case is legitimate." 

**T**ouji sighed, "A promise by a biotech company that does experiments half the world doesn't know about, and we get to take a case by them. Whoop-de-doo. Hooray for _us_." 

**D**aisuke grinned, "Well, Touji you _did_ ask for a case, did you _not_?" 

**T**ouji's cheeks began to turn 5 shades of red, and then, he smiled, "Well, of course, I did. God must be smiling on us, gentlemen!" 

**K**ensuke sighed, "He only gets that when there's beautiful girls around. Sheesh, Daisuke, if Touji was not interested in Pokémon, I swear, he's the real live version of Brock." 

**T**ouji screamed, "I AM NOT BROCK!" 

**A**suka asked, "Does he _always_ yell?" 

**D**aisuke answered, "Unfortunately, yes." 

**I** regained my composure and asked, "What is this case about?" 

**A**suka explained, "We need your help. The Angels gang has declared its war on all of humankind and we need you to help us stop it." 

**K**ensuke offered, "We have 4 detectives for hire. Our so-called 'leader', the shy one of our group, his name's Shinji Ikari. There's also our resident 'Lady-killer' loudmouth Touji. My name's Kensuke Aida, I'm the resident military fanatic, and finally, the mysterious one, his name's Daisuke 'Halo' Ishida, a former MI-6 secret agent and Japan's UN Ambassador who knows nothing about his past, and has a _personal_ score with the Angels." 

**M**isato quipped, "Shinji, Touji, Daisuke, you're coming with us." 

**K**ensuke smiled, "I will keep this agency as our Central Command. I'll take care of this place. I will not let you down, sir!" 

**D**aisuke laughed, "If it weren't for the fact that you're short and have no military experience, as well as for not having being bulked up, Kensuke, you would've been a great soldier or general in the army." 

**K**ensuke smiled, "Thank you, sir! I shall defend this agency with my life, sir!" 

**M**isato laughed, "What enthusiasm!" 

**"**We'll do whatever we can, ma'am. And I'll do _anything_ for you, Misato." That, of course, was Touji. Other than the fact that Touji is a complete and total loudmouth, he lives mostly in a fantasy world where he fancies himself as a lady-killer and a ladies' man! Daisuke grabbed something from his desk and pulled it out. He calls this, his 'Reality Mallet.' Carries with him 24/7, 365 days a year. In case Touji begins or is already in his fantasy world. 

**D**aisuke grinned evilly, "Time to get you back in reality, Touji." He then whacked Touji and he cried, "Please, Daisuke, just a few more hours! Please!" 

**D**aisuke smiled, "Hello! _Earth_ to Touji! We are in a place called _reality_, here! Not in some fantasy realm where you always get the ladies, man!" 

**I** grinned, "You're right, as always, Daisuke." 

**M**isato sighed, "Does he _always_ do that?" 

**D**aisuke laughed, "What, fantasizes being a ladies man, a lady-killer, a 'player'? Yeah, Misato, he does. That's why I carry my 'Reality Mallet', and an almost endless supply of banana cream pie 24/7, 365." 

**A**suka asked, while having the beginnings of an evil grin, "Are all four of you single?" 

**T**ouji sighed, "Yes, we are." 

**T**o my surprise, Daisuke agreed. "Despite our reputation of being the top detectives in the private sector, we have not have a girlfriend. And, despite Shinji's and my reputation as gentlemen champion crime busters, not to mention, being really shy and all, we have not have had a really successful date." 

**M**isato and Asuka were both grinning evilly, while Rei was emotionless, like she had been for the last five minutes. 

**T**ouji wondered, "What the heck are they grinning about?" 

**D**aisuke smiled, "It probably has to do something with Shinji and us." 

**T**ouji smiled, "Player time." 

**I** heard Daisuke sigh, "Oy vei…" 

** F**or the first time, Rei spoke. She said, "What is wrong, Daisuke?" 

**D**aisuke pointed at Touji, while rolling his eyes, he said, "_Him_." 

**M**isato smiled, "Don't worry, Daisuke, he's fine!" 

**D**aisuke grinned, "What's your definition of fine, Misato chan? Always fantasizing about getting ladies and having to sleep with them?" 

**A**suka laughed, "There's nothing wrong with that!" 

**D**aisuke smiled, "I know that's normal for being guys and all, but imagining your 'conquests' 24/7, 365? That is _not_ normal. Touji does not live in a place Shinji, Kensuke, and me like to call_ 'Reality'_. So it's my job to bring him back." 

**R**ei quipped, "So I see." 

**D**aisuke smiled, "So I see indeed." 

**W**e exited the building and we went into a NERV van. Misato was driving Touji, Daisuke, along with Asuka and Rei and me to NERV HQ. Problem was, we didn't know what we were getting ourselves into. 

**Sonic Angel:** Didn't know what these guys are getting into is right! Why are the Angels declaring war on humanity? What is Project EVA? And why did Asuka and Misato grin evilly when our intrepid detectives mention that they were single? Next time… "Shinji's First Battle! Fight On, Third Child!" Who knows? Maybe next time, you might get some 'fan service'… ^_^   
  
  



End file.
